Aug. 11th, 2004 09:25 pm Entry 1
I finally found some paper.
I’m not going to be able to write much before I pass out, but the presence of pen and paper, along with light in the form of a couple of fat white candles, has given me a stone to stand on amidst… whatever it is I’m going through.
The food helped, too, it must be said.
My hand is already shaking. It’s been quite a while between meals, so I’m weak (as a blind kitten, my mother quipped inside my head, msrip). I also fear I’m dehydrated. I can’t bring myself to drink the water (yet). The meal I just had — of crackers, potted meat and dried pears — will probably change my mind soon. It was the first food in two days, though; I used to hate potted meat (“potted meat” — I said it out loud), but now I think I’m deeply in love with it. Deeply, deeply. God, I’m tired. Thanks for the paper, you bastard.
Aug. 12th, 2004 02:57 pm Entry 2
…row. I actually fell asleep while writing. I have not done that since school.
School was a long time ago.
14 hours of sleep later, I quickly figured out how to use the crazy-huge compost toilet. Either it had not been used in a long time, or it works very well, as there was no hint of odor. There is a tight stack of magazines squashed into an iron rack next to the toilet. It’s funny — I desperately want clues to where I am or what has happened to me, but I have a perverse aversion to reaching for the magazines, or even of searching through the house I found last night. I think I might still be in shock. Maybe I just want to clear my head first, before putting any more into it?
So instead, I just came back from an inordinate amount of time scouting the area outside, now that it is broad daylight. You’d think I would want to stay indoors after two days of stumbling about in the elements.
I seem to have found myself a quaint white house. It has no path, road or walkway up to it. It sits in a friendly manner on a rolling plain covered in short yellow-green grass, dotted here and there with scruffy weeds a little like stubby saw-grass. The whole landscape seems rather arid.
It was not too long before I discovered the cliffs. Almost due east from the house (House) the grassland drops off abruptly, straight down to a thin strip of beach. That, of course, then becomes a shoreline, but I’m not ready to write about that, yet.
Or about the statue.
I need to eat a little and close my eyes.
Aug. 13th, 2004 12:48 am Entry 3
I’m wide awake at midnight, by myself in a strange house. There is no electricty, nor even any outlets. I have 28 candles lit. It’s so dark outside. I just realized I haven’t seen a moon, yet. I meant: the Moon, yet.
start over Avery
Earlier I lay down my spinning head on one of the many pillows that infest this place and actually slept for another six hours or so. I didn’t even eat first like I had intended, so when I woke up I was ravenous. I do not use that word lightly; I have never felt so hungry. I was dreaming of… (later) Maybe it was my body responding to the shock wearing thin. I tore open another packet of crackers (Crandell’s Tea Biscuits — never heard of them, but very dry and oddly satisfying) and opened another jar of the fizzy, tea-colored liquid that passes for water around here (I’d drunk a full one dry in a mad thirst this morning, saying hell with it… )
I stormed out, furious with everything for being so bizarre, and made my way back to the cliffs. It’s only about a fifteen-minute stomp from the front door. I had little difficulty, despite the utter lack of any path, in finding the statue again. And of course the sea.
Jesus Christ. The damned, hissing, tea-colored Sea that had shaken me so badly when I first saw it maybe eight hours before. It’s like the biggest ginger ale spill in the history of humankind. Except it tastes like mineral water with a hint of soap, if what is in those jars is seawater. No salt. Not salty at all.
I giggled when I wrote the words “ginger ale”, as if this were the least bit humorous. This is madness. Let me write it down.
I am 53 years old and I have NEVER heard of a body of water like THIS on Earth. There are at least SOME insects on Earth. ON EARTH. I’VE GONE COMPLETELY INSANE OR THIS IS NOT EA
I am very very frightened. frightened
i don’t know what is real anymore god am i dead?